Over at Deeper Story today, writing about that classic Jesus Bridge Illustration and the ways we oversimplify things. Join me?
Here’s the first bit:
The first time I went to a therapist, I was shattered at the rock-bottom of my life.
It has been a year of Depression and anger. A year of drinking too much too fast. In a thousand small ways and a few really big ways, I’d been hurt by the churches where I sought refuge. And so, in many ways, it was the loneliest year.
I went to the therapist after the almost Thing with the man who was not my husband. I went with a certain kind of desperation. I was at the edge, and I knew I had to reach out and grab something, so I grabbed the first name on the In-Network list and called.
[Click here to read the rest.]
I remember my old small-church youth group being made to memorize the “napkin illustration” (because you can draw a chasm and a cross on a napkin over lunch) and practice it back and forth in pairs, ready with supporting Scripture.
At first, my jaw dropped when I read how your therapist used it, but as I reflect, the pastor who taught it to our odds-and-ends handful of teens would have done the same thing. To him, all problems were as simple as whether or not a person was living sinfully instead of repentantly following the Bible. That made HIM fail as a counselor, as well–on the rare occasion when my wheelchair-bound, pain-wracked mother actually got him to pay her a house call, he gave no encouragement, no strength, but rather attacked her request for “coping skills” because apparently God doesn’t want us to just cope; He wants us to live fully. The pastor just didn’t know how to deal with a godly, faithful woman who sometimes was barely hanging in there.
If there are Christian shepherds out there who do better, I have yet to find them.
I totally forgot that we used to call it “the napkin illustration.” Yes! And yes, it was definitely a counseling Fail. But I do think that there are “Christian shepherds” who can and DO do better. My second therapist, for example, was a Christian, and was paramount in helping me sort out the false from the true in my own faith story. Without her, I might never have gotten better.
I left this comment over at Deeper Story as well:
Dear Lord, Addie, this is beautiful. One reason that I keep reading everything you write is because you so frequently have fleshed out in words my own emotion–you have named what I have been struggling to name. And it’s a bit of grace every single time. Thank you.
Thanks so much Gregory. That means a lot to me.
In the end, faith is so much about uncertainty. So much about struggle. You hang on the best you can, and you try to remember that even if you lose your grip, this Love will not let you go.”
I want you to know, Miss Addie, how when I see a post of yours go up, I run to read it, and how I am sitting here just shaking right now after this one. As we say in the south, Lawd, child, you have hit a raw nerve…and bless you for the honesty and truth in your writings. Several of the so called therapists did harm
to unnamed persons in my family. And thank God for the good ones out there.
You just keep this writing up, you are the voice of so many. Thank you.
Thanks so much, Judy. These are such kind words. I’m so sorry that you and your family have suffered because of rotten therapists. It’s so hard when the people you trust with your pain mishandle it. I hope that your unnamed family member have found someone who validates, loves, and offers grace.
Thank you for sharing this part of your life. Your story seems to resonate with so many. Before kids, I saw a therapist, too. He was a Christian on purpose and never brought up the cross bridge. But he did bring up a lot of other things that were really beneficial to me. It was hard to go through that time of my life. But in the end so worth it for me. I really enjoy reading your blog! Thanks for writing.
Jess
Thanks for sharing and for the kind words, Jess. Yes, my second therapist was a Christian, and she was the real deal. So thankful.