I’m over at Deeper Story today writing about those awesome Christmas cliches that people like to hang up all over their houses. You know the ones.
And also, I’m writing about Depression at Christmas. And expectations. And when you feel like you’re it all wrong.
I hope you’ll join me there. Here’s how it starts:
That was the year I was underwater.
Christmas was happening, as it always happens, but it was somewhere above me. The lights blurred and the songs broke muffled and distorted through the surface of the water that I couldn’t seem to swim out of.
It hadn’t been long since we’d named it – that thing that had been quietly erasing me. Depression. I had only been in therapy a few months, and I’d only just started with those little white pills – the ones meant fix the tangled mess in my brain.
Day by day, I was edging toward wellness, but it would take time. I was so far-sunk in the whole thing. The water felt a million miles deep…
(Continue reading at Deeper Story)
I decided to come back and comment on your blog, Addie, because I don’t feel quite so safe over in the comments section at Deeper Story. I love Christmas. I especially love our weird, hot, swimming on Christmas day, salads instead of stuffing, Aussie version. In recent years though it’s been hard. We lost my Granny and then my Dad days before Christmas in successive years. Now we are about to lose my Nanna too. That old secure extended family unit naturally fragments as most of my cousins live in the Eastern states or overseas and most of us have our own little families, traditions and celebrations now. Inexorable change, loss and insecurity are not what you want or feel promised at Christmas but we recognise all of these as parts of life; and as life happens so Christmas happens. Thank you for your beautiful reminder of peace, now, in this moment. Christ before me but also with me. In the darkness and the light.
We’re kind of in that stage too…not as much death and loss, but a lot of change. Old traditions dissolving because they can no longer be sustained. Distance. Separation. Everything different. Love the way you said it here: “Inexorable change, loss and insecurity are not what you want or feel promised at Christmas but we recognise all of these as parts of life; and as life happens so Christmas happens.” Beautiful. Thanks Adele.